Are we all just a collection of symptoms?

Sometimes I think so. There’s certainly a move to categorise people by their various tenancies whether it be OCD, ADHD, depression or Autistic spectrum disorders, we’re all a collection of disorders. It’s a relatively small number of people that sit comfortably within the ‘normal range’ of behaviours. We’ve all got neurosis, habits, ticks and traits, which makes it really hard for doctors to tick the boxes that categorise someone as having a particular diagnosis, because for people who score in the abnormal range quite often mix and match their quirks – or at least nature and nurture do. No one really goes out of their way to be an oddball, and even if they do, they probably can’t help that either – something’s driving it, somewhere along the line.

It’s a theory that has led me to believe that free will doesn’t exist. we’re so beholden by circumstance, DNA and upbringing that independent decision, a decision that is not informed by something else can’t ever really exist. We are locked into the grid of reality that impels us through time on a tidal wave of circumstance, jettisoned by events outside our control – which, arguably we can’t control in any case. It’s why patterns of behaviour are so easy to spot. Be it the stereotyped behaviours of autism and Aspergers or OCD, or the self-destructive tendencies of poorly nurtured children, right down to the fact that slashing abortion rates leads to spikes in crime 20 years down the line (Freakonomics).

Which is why blame and judgement of other people are so misplaced – yet, presumably unavoidable if my theory holds water. If one thing leads to another, then no one can be held accountable for their actions as they are simply acting out the story they’re locked into by space and time. There is no exit strategy that hasn’t already been already written into the script. It’s fatalistic, but in my head at least, free will is an illusion. Which makes me feel better and worse at the same time.