Hungover parenting

It happens. And when it does, you just have to cope.

In the old days I would battle through it, trying to be a hero, taking the kids to jungle gyms or music classes with grim determination and a splitting head. But that was when they were toddlers and if you didn’t take them out they would turn crazy circles like a dog chasing its tail, and it was more exhausting being cooped up in the flat than biting the bullet and going somewhere noisy and kid friendly.

But I’m not a martyr anymore. I don’t have to be, and thank Christ for that. The kids are self sufficient. Jonah will head straight upstairs and play on his iPad or draw or sometimes even play an actual real life game with his sister; they’ll help themselves to dry cereal and switch on ‘Almost Naked Animals’ on CITV while I wallow in bed with Saturday Kitchen and Facebook for company. It’s not perfect, but the kids seem to like having a relaxed day after a week of early starts. And there are enough days when we get up at the crack of dawn to some activity or other.

Tom’s better, shuffling round bringing me breakfast – in bed – I know. I’m a spoiled bitch, but he likes it that way – and getting the kids something relatively nutritious. I might run a bath and then can’t be bothered to get in it, so the kids get in and that’s half an hour extra lie in right there, and then if I’m feeling upright, I might pad in unsteadily, and lie there with the door shut, avoiding the screams and wails and chatter and giggles and plinky plonk piano of childhood for as long as possible. And if I’m really bad, I might slope back to bed, guiltily, and beg Tom to head to the park. But it doesn’t make me feel great, So today, I’m gonna do what I do when I’m hungover at work, and suck it up, get up and do something.I mean, it is half eleven. I’m not sure what, but the cinema sounds appealingly lazy – and Tom’s just Googled the cinema listings and found that Oz the Great and Powerful’s on. Done.

But I might take a codeine – Tom’s had ’em from the doctor for an ear infection, and you can float along quite nicely on them. But it’s ok to have a hangover, I’ve found, because if you don’t have any fun, parenting can be pretty hard going. But I do think they might be becoming a bit too frequent. But it’s fine. I’m drinking green tea.