Don’t be afraid to articulate that you don’t like your child

All babies are hard work, but what if yours constantly cries or whines? This letter to Mariella Frostrup in the Guardian demonstrates the importance of getting support if you (probably temporarily) can’t stand your child. You’re not alone, and believe me, it gets better.

I went through a long period with Jonah where he was driving me absolutely crazy. Dark days perpetuated his toddler years right up until he was around five when the fog of sleep deprivation, and the demands of looking after him began to lift.

Swallowing a lot of pride and being able to articulate my frustration led me to seek solutions that improved our relationship. But pick your targets for blowing off steam carefully. Health professionals can put you in touch with therapists who are paid to help you understand how your own behaviour could be contributing to a difficult relationship with your baby, toddler and child. It’s worth putting yourself in professional hands for the long term health and happiness of your whole family. Friends often don’t understand, and complaining to other parents can leave you open to judgemental responses that can harm more than help.

It’s important not to blame the child for its behaviour. They are merely responding to events around and inside them over which they have little or no control. Improving your relationship with them begins with you, and your support networks and ends with better bonding and a happier life together with your child.