Winter Wonderland – Damon Albarn’s Alice and Winterville#2

It’s perhaps been harder to throw myself into festivities this year than I would like. The kids are getting older, and the number of Christmases that can be made truly magical for them are dwindling. Jonah’s already a practical non-believer – in religion as much as anything more magic; and Ava, well, she tends to go along with whatever he thinks. But with the loss of our dog to the wheels of a car, and the loss of a job to unrealistic expectations both from myself and others, the tail end of this year has left little room for celebrations.

But, with time on my hands to recuperate and regroup, I’ve done my best to salvage what little Christmas spirit I have that’s not entirely calcified into a Scrooge-like husk, and make the most of what London has to offer in the way of distractions from life’s harsher realities.

We’d booked Wonderland, a modern interpretation of the traditional Alice fable some months ago – with Cats proving a surprise hit with the kids last year, and Jonah bit by bit discovering a more creative side – he willingly went to see The Nutcracker with school, and took the lead in the school play, perhaps for his remarkable ability to remember all the lines, taking them to see the arts hasn’t felt quite so much like forcing a square peg in a round hole as previously. And this version, with an original score by Damon Albarn, and viewed through the eyes of a teenage girl caught between the break up of her exhausted mother, “mad” hat wearing, gambler father and vicious, rule insistent, detention doling headmistress, appealed to his increasingly grownup world view.

A clever and humorous retelling, with brilliantly bleak staging, catchy score in which Albarn’s arrangement is clear, it was enjoyed by both ten year old Jonah and his seven year old sister, who probably left knowing a few more swears than she went in with. It didn’t bother me, although it is recommended for children ten years and older for that very reason. This is no saccharine Disneyfied storyline, or even much akin to Lewis Carol’s dark opiate-infused vision but rather gritty and relatable to today’s video gamer generation, where escapism is to be found online from the grim reality faced by many of today’s youth – and adults too.

We are lucky to have so much on our doorstep to keep inertia at bay, and this year’s reprisal of Winterville, hosted in a rather muddy Victoria Park, ten minutes from Mile End tube,  provided a little wonderland of its own last year, offering a range of activities and eating opportunities and adding colour to the local scene which, even as it gentrifies, can sometimes feel a little bleak this time of year. We held off on visiting until the school holidays – it’s not a cheap day out, and it’s easy to hemorrhage £100 on rides, snacks and the odd activity. I booked ice skating with Reprobates Kate and Laura and their kids after a glorious experience last New Year’s day, where the sky was cornflower and our cheeks glowed pink in a picture perfect post-Christmas calorie burner.

This year though, the weather has been inclement, warm, wet and windy. From a distance, the fairground lights flashed gaudily, seemingly losing last year’s twinkle, while hackneyed Christmas hits bellowed ad nausem into the quiet village, breaching the peace and bringing in young tourists who rarely bother shopping local. Unlike last year, where it ran throughout the holidays, today is its last day, meaning for those who have yet to take time of work, it will be gone before they have a chance to visit and good riddance. Much of what made it charming last year – the independent food stalls, and Christmas market – have been largely replaced with extra fairground rides, and stalls selling overpriced tut. The skating rink was a veritable lake, meaning anyone who fell over in the runny slush got soaked to the skin, and damp legs and fairground rides rarely mix when you factor in wintry windchill.

Hoping to warm the kids up, we bought tasty Korean-style fried chicken and rosemary fries for a tenner from one of the few remaining food stalls, but I balked at hot chocolate at £4 a polystyrene cup, hoping to split one between two. The barmaid at the Backyard Cinema bar (where they had been showing expensive reruns of films that have recently been on the telly) resentfully obliged with half a cup split between two, which I poured back into one cup and asked for a top up – we leave space for cream, she argued back, but at £4 a pop, I wanted a full cup. And when I asked for a splash of cold milk to cool it down, she told me there was none, until my daughter burned her mouth, and miraculously some was found. I was less than impressed. A sour, overpriced mulled cyder did little to lift my spirits.

The kids enjoyed the bumper cars – £4 for a car, and a couple of the less dangerous looking rides, which meant we left on a slightly oversugared high. By now, at least it was dark and the lights compensated for the mud which was a key feature of this years Winterville. But the only thing that was really worth it (30 odd quid for one adult and two kids) was the panto in the speigeltent, which was a hilarious version of Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, with puppets in key roles and a fabulous turn by an evil queen who took being called ugly (she really wasn’t) by a bunch of six year olds with remarkable good humour. She perhaps hit the nail on the head by singing that lots of people used to come to Winterville but they don’t any more.

Given how empty Winterville felt this close to Christmas, it was hardly surprising the barmaid was reluctant to do me a favour with the hot chocolate. And what with all the wind and wet weather we’ve had – not to mention ice-melting temperatures, I’m guessing I’m not the only one who thought this year’s reprisal was a bit of a damp squib. Perhaps it goes to show, what with so much else going on this time of year, a festive fairground is perhaps seasonal overkill – and not really all that festive – after all.

Update: we went back this afternoon after a trip to the park for one last ride, and the ice was frosty. I complained to the box office about yesterday’s slush and was offered free ride tokens or a free skate but by then we were cold and knackered, but the thought was there.  It would have cost me 34p a minute to sit on the customer support helpline, so I didn’t bother. Bah humbug to that.