It doesn’t come as much surprise these days to hear of yet another superpower crumbling amidst allegations of abuse – from Billy Cosby and Jimmy Savile (and holy fuck, Morgan Freeman?) to establishment figures of the highest ranks, to our ‘very own’ Max Clifford – it seems the bigger they are, the more horrific the allegations and, finally, after so, so much damage and heartache and complicity of silence, the harder they fall. But since in my book, things never happen on their own, what do these latest allegations against one of Hollywood’s most powerful figures say about the people who enabled them?
First up, let me just say loud and clear who I think is at blame here. It doesn’t take two people to get raped. Just one person with a fucked up world-view and another person in the wrong place at the wrong time.
But, in my book, powerful people rarely do bad things on their own, so what do these latest allegations against one of Hollywood’s most powerful figures say about women? Because if these high powered, well-connected, (both Paltrow and Jolie have parents in the industry) emancipated women have to ‘pretend to be attracted’ to the notably charmless Weinstein, as once passed for a joke at the Oscars, what hope is there for the rest of us?
Why is it that we bestow upon men – who, it seems, systematically take advantage of their power – the opportunity to do so? What does it say about the rest of us? That we are so disempowered that we are literally willing to do anything to get the attention of a powerful man? (obviously I’m not talking about Cosby, who had to drug women in order to rape them, or Savile, who attacked children and the disabled – and the dead, by all accounts) to get their kicks.
But how can it happen, again and again, that men like Weinstein are so deluded as to think women may enjoy this type of unwanted attention – he’s been accused of rape, but asserts it was all consensual. At his trial, he pleads not-guilty despite countless claims to the contrary. Is he so deluded as to have not realised why women might have given him the time of day, or dropped their clothes when persuaded by job offers or Oscar nominations?It sure as hell wasn’t his looks. But then my portly, balding father has recently taken up with a 29 year old Thai, who he claims, “loves him” for more than his wallet. Such men can never be convinced otherwise.
What’s up with these people? Psychopathy, sure. Narcisism, obviously, despite clearly never having taken a good look at themselves in the mirror. But should women also take look at themselves and question whether we are also complicit in holding up this power structure that enables us, time and time again, to be abused by men.
Take a look at the recently departed Hugh Hefner, (soon to intrude onto the grave of a woman he took financial advantage of in real life, Marilyn Monroe) and how he manipulated women into becoming playthings for his entertainment, clamouring for an allowance or squeezing themselves into degrading outfits (I have to admit I once auditioned to be a bunny at the playboy club in London. Attracted to the glamour (as epitomised by Bridget Jones’ rather wonky version), I’m not the only women to have been seduced by the sex industry.
Why did I do it? I quite enjoyed being thought of as sexy, and never really saw it as degrading, for all the corset was a bit tight. At the time, I felt rather empowered, although I realise now that this empowerment was temporary, easily destroyed and entirely at the whim of the male gaze. Yet still I was complicit in creating this construct.
Sex appeal is one of the few powers young women hold in their favour, and we’ve long used it to our advantage in many cases, which is why it’s far more usual to see pretty young women with fat, older rich men, and not the other way around. We create cages for ourselves, as Melania has with Donald – but can we really blame her?
In the case of Weinstein, women keen to promote their careers felt they had no option but to put up and shut up when it came to unwanted advances from the man who was able to make it happen. But what if none of them had entertained the idea? Or is the endless stream of girls desperate for a break a guarantee that someone somewhere will put out, or put up with what another, stronger character might not? I draw your attention back to the fact that these women are among the world’s most powerful themselves – so if they felt like they had no choice but stay quiet, then what hope is there for the rest of us who also rely on more powerful men for their livelihoods. Is there also something in young womens’ emancipation from their own father’s control and adoration that makes them rebel against the little girl they once were, to assert a right to their sexuality and, yes, use it to control men also, especially those, like Weinstein, who may not have had the most successful introduction to the opposite sex in their own, perhaps, ill-favoured youth.
Women too can be shameless in their exploitation of the opposite sex – I witness my own stepmother, who has swapped youth and good looks for access to my father’s credit card, despite his portly baldness and inability to speak her language – none of that acted as a barrier to them getting married after just two weeks of my father looking at her with puppy dog eyes and speaking to me sheepishly about her ‘creme caramel breasts’. He seemed to lack any awareness that this may not have be something his own daughter would particularly interested in. At the very least, I could feel pity, if not resentment, that my stepmother would have to spend her whole life pretending to be attracted to him, except that now, it appears he’s switched her up for a younger model.
Much like Stephen Hawking, who, if the film, The Theory of Everything, that I watched recently, is to be believed, ditched his long-suffering and much-in-love wife as soon as he became rich and powerful enough, to travel around the world with the nurse who seduced, married and, if you believe what’s written about her online, abused him – but refused to let his children from his previous marriage get involved when they became concerned by marks, bruises and even unexplained broken bones.
There is a tacit understanding between abuser and abusee in all abusive relationships. The reasons why people accept abusive behaviour is often hard to unpick but often at its heart is a power balance that seems obvious to an outsider, but maybe more nuanced than first appears.
I’m not victim blaming. There is always a right and wrong and perpetrators cross clear red lines. What’s not so clear is for what reasons they are given opportunities to do so in the first place. Women wanting fame and power may well put themselves through a lot in order to get it. It’s a different kettle of fish to a woman who fears losing her home, income or children through an abusive realtionship of another type. But perhaps there is also a little abuse on the other side too – that of the attractive woman getting what she wants from a more powerful, yet perhaps emotionally-scarred man – yes, for who knows what creates a fragile ego so enormous it doesn’t understand rape when it’s accused of him- psychopaths, they say, are born, so can we really, ultimately, blame them? And perhaps there is something in the average male makeup that doesn’t allow for the shades of grey that women tend to see- and then take advantage of – more clearly.
I’m not apologising for Harvey Weinstein, or any of the other monsters in my opening paragraph. All deserve what’s coming to them and more. But what I will say is this. All of us tacitly accept hierarchies and power structures. It’s only by refusing them, however limited our power, that they can crumble. I have nothing but admiration for the woman who called bullshit on Weinstein’s abuse of power, for they put their careers and reputations at risk. But what kind of a world is it where a serial rapist’s reputation can remain so unstained as to cast a shadow on a woman’s prospects at the whisper in a publicist’s ear?
It’s one where power equals corruption just as a black hole sucks in mass. It’s only through bravery, persistence and moral outrage that individuals are able to gather the critical mass that itself can bring these behemoths to their knees.
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