Horsey horsey… why Family Day at Ascot was a bloomin’ good bet

It’s been nearly a week since we went to Family Day at Ascot, and believe me when I say I had so much fun I’ve only just got over it. Part of this might be because the neighbours, who’d been pug sitting all day, were having a party, so, once we’d got home and popped the kids to bed, we joined them for a few that turned into many that ended up with us jumping in the paddling pool at about 2am. But enough on that.

The day itself was perfect. Well, weather wise, it was glorious Midsummer, barely a cloud, which certainly aided the celebratory atmosphere once inside, but it also meant that Saturday morning, normally spent lounging on the garden sofa drinking coffee, was spent frantically putting my hair in curlers and finding clothes that match for the kids, who were as persuadable as they ever are to look smart (not very), before meeting up with a harassed looking Reprobate Kate and getting on the three part tube journey to get on the Ascot train from Waterloo.

Once onboard, despite being crammed into a corner next to the loos (better in than out, say I) the atmosphere was festive, crammed to the rafters with fascinating dressed women, and men with pocket handkerchiefs cracking open tins of G&T. It was almost like going on a jolly jape in the 1940s, what with all the hats, and we followed suit, exchanging bants with plummy voiced fillies in slightly too tight dresses (I can’t speak, I was bursting out of mine having to give up on my planned outfit from Choies turning up – it arrived this week, finally – so I had to squeeze into a last minute option last worn when several years ago, teamed with a hatinator borrowed from Reprobate Kate) who worked as lawyers and team leader complaining about the difficulties balancing friendliness and managerialness with younger women in their team. Such yawn). We followed suit on the one-for-the-track G&Ts, and we ladies switched into flats for the eight minute or so walk from the station up to the racecourse itself.

On arrival, we were pleased to see there was lots to amuse the kids, from pony rides, swing boats, bouncy slides and a coconut shy which Jonah was really keen on and won several coconuts which we then had to carry around for the rest of the day. No matter; we had a couple of bottles of fizz to offload, as well as sandwiches and snacks bought at M&S at Waterloo, which we nibbled as the kids queued up for the various activities, all of us grateful to be wearing significant headgear to ward off the sun.

  

The actual racing was a blast, teaching our children the valuable lesson of never gambling more than you can afford. We lost on the first, won on the second, lost, lost again then won fairly big and lost again. We ended up more or less flat, betting no more than £20 a time, if you don’t count the amount spent on booze, food and our tickets, which at £25 odd quid for grownups and zilch for the kiddos, really wasn’t so bad for such a great day out. If you want my tip, always bet on the Queen’s horse – the logic being she can afford to buy the best ones. But I learned this afterwards – my philosophical stance affecting my judgement for a minute, and shoulda, woulda coulda, we might have come away significantly wealthier had I not been anti-royalist. Of course that’s who the real winners are – the racehorse trainers, with winners of each race coming away with nothing short of 100,000 quid. Lucky old Queenie filled the coffers fairly convincingly, making me feel even more annoyed that public money is being spent on doing up Buckingham Palace, but then, if I ever win the lottery, I know what I’ll be spending my money on, because it’s certainly a fun way to spend it.

Anyhow, we left merrily enough, me having switched into my flip flops tripping down the back on the way to the station and grazing my knee (lesson #2: never ditch the heels), and after a delicate doze en route, ended up in Yo Sushi, to replenish our brain cells on sashimi before heading home to the neighbours (who, as irony would have it, are Aussies).

And if you want to know how the rest of the evening went, this picture pretty much sums it up.